Sasha's Story

WARNING: long, DETAILED (pregnancy and) BIRTH STORY BELOW. I tried to keep the gross details to a minimum, but was unable to keep the word count to a minimum. ;-) Don't feel like you need to read the whole thing - I wrote all this detail for my sake. Condensed version: I had a baby girl, born at home - woo hoo!

Just over a year ago I knew that Andy and I were done having kids. I had a dream that someone congratulated me on trying for a 3rd and I laughed at them. And I laughed when I woke up. But just a few months later, in the fall of 2008, in the middle of the night, I suddenly decided that we might possibly regret not having more kids, but we would never regret having more. Make sense? May be kind of weird logic, but honestly, that's what it came down to. Andy did not need any convincing. I think he'd been waiting for awhile for me to realize that we weren't done. So we began trying to get pregnant. By Christmas I was pregnant.

My first trimester was horrible. I was sick all the time. ALL the time. Medication helped for about a week, then it stopped helping and just left me with awful side effects. Completely wore me out. Once the sickness passed, I was still so physically drained that I didn't recover much throughout the pregnancy. Well, no, I think I recovered okay just in time to move to Texas during a record-breaking heatwave, which then zapped my energy even more. (Summer 2009 was the #2 hottest summer on record here.)

I knew immediately that I wanted a homebirth. After some e-mail correspondence (we were still in Wisconsin into my 6th month of pregnancy), we interviewed one midwife in person, and thought she was just perfect.

The rest of my pregnancy went along just fine. My back hurt so bad I couldn't sleep in our bed, so I would sleep with Aubrey one night, Lauren the next, for most of my pregnancy. The long, hot days of the summer meant that the girls and I spent lots of time homebound, really not going outside at all from 11am-6pm.

Since Aubrey was born on her Godmother, Shana's birthday, and Lauren was born on Grandma Marg's birthday, we had high expectations for this little one. Lucky for her, August is littered with birthdays of loved-ones. Her chances were pretty good.

August 22nd, 2009. We got up and out relatively early, because we wanted to go to Sam's Club and Target before it got too late in the day. At Sam's (our first stop) I was feeling fine, moving slowly, of course, and being teased by Andy at how slow I was moving. Then at Target we found some good deals (it was tax-free school supply shopping weekend, we had to buy some school clothes). By about 11 we were seated at Olive Garden for lunch, where I noticed that my braxton-hicks contractions were a bit different, but still braxton-hicks.

Before we ordered I got a phone call - my friend Linda from Wisconsin - I knew that birth was close at this point, since Linda had called, but I kept that knowledge to myself. Contractions throughout lunch, but still too mild and too far apart to even mention to Andy.

Came home, still the same, nothing exciting. Then, some bloody show. At 2 I e-mailed Lisa (midwife) to let her know that things were happening. At 6:30 I called her, because the contractions were then much closer together. There was no real pattern, and the contractions weren't long enough. Contractions need to be at least a minute long to be productive. So we just kept doing what we're doing, with plans to check in with Lisa in about an hour, unless things changed. I made sure to keep snacking, because I needed to keep my energy up. And, since the contractions weren't productive at this point, I was not calling (or letting Andy call!) our parents, friends, etc.

No significant change, so after Lisa confered with her mentor, Melanie, I was prescribed a beer and a bath, to relax my uterus. If it's real labor, things will pick up. If it's pre-labor, I'd most likely get a break from the contractions (which still had not been painful, but had become very uncomfortable). Well, the contractions continued through the bath, and when I got out I timed them for about 30 minutes before calling Lisa to tell her this was really it, come on over. Once the midwife was headed over, I told Andy he could call people, post on facebook, whatever.

I spent some time reading to the girls on my bed, but I needed to stop reading throughout every contraction - they were getting tough at this point, and Aubrey became very emotional due to my behavior. We got them situated in the living room with a movie, and called Kim to come over and be here if the girls needed comfort/help/a glass of water.

Before Kim got here, both girls had fallen asleep. But we asked her to stay, anyway, just in case.

My contractions got to where I would just double over in pain. I would lean on the bed and Andy would rub my lower back through each contraction. His hands saved me, by the way. I don't know how I would've gotten through without his touch.

About 11:10, the midwives (Lisa as primary, her mentor Melanie as back-up) still weren't here and I had the urge to push. I crawled onto our bed, right next to our birth kit, and *push* my water breaks. I never thought to pull anything out of our birth kit - it's for the midwives and I didn't want to mis-use something - yes, I am crazy. I tossed my cell phone and home phone to Kim - telling her to find Lisa's number on the cell and call from the house.

Kim found the number, Andy talked to Lisa. They were 13 miles away. Ha. Well, maybe I can hold off on delivering the baby for about 15 minutes. Maybe. Oh, but when I check myself, I can feel her head. Nevermind, probably won't be waiting. I don't tell Andy, though, and keep working through the contractions, almost trying to NOT push (which, by the way, is impossible - if you are ever told by a nurse/doctor/midwife to NOT push when you have the urge, tell them to go F* themselves). Then Andy says, "Her head's right there!" I say, "I know." and whoosh, she kinda flies out. 11:22pm. (I think my body was kind of holding her in until Andy knew she wasn't going to wait - for just a bit more mental preparation.) She screams immediately, and keeps screaming for awhile.

I wasn't comfortable delivering the placenta without Lisa there, so baby and I stayed attached, with her wrapped and laying on my chest. Andy brought a sleeping Aubrey in (Aubrey wanted to help catch the baby - she came too fast, though) and plopped her on the bed. Aubrey s l o w l y woke to the sound of baby screaming. Andy and Aubrey decided on her name - Sasha Lorraine - since I was still all wishy-washy (Sasha was one of our top choices, I just couldn't make up my mind). Then, about 25 minutes after Sasha's arrival, Lisa and Melanie arrived.

Deliver placenta, weigh and measure baby (6 pounds, 19.25 inches), foot prints, get fed a snack, the mess on the bed got all cleaned up (we were prepared in that regard - clean sheets on the bottom, shower curtain next, leak-proof mattress pad, then, finally, old sheets we don't care about - so once it's all said and done, take off the old sheets, pad, shower curtain and I can crawl right into bed). Had I thought a bit, we could've used the chucks pads in the birth kit to labor on and our bed would not have gotten quite so messy. I still feel silly for that.

We did not wake up Lauren (because then she would've been awake for HOURS and still up with the sun), so when she got up with the sun, before anyone else, she came in, and I said "Your baby sister is here." "She's here? She came out?" And she continued to coo over the little baby feet and hands and tiny ears. "And can she pick her nose with her fingers like I pick my nose with my fingers?"

Oh, and Sasha was born on Andy's dad's birthday.

one week - just pictures

These are from Saturday - 7 days old my girlies

little toes

Shh

this is my current favorite. :-)

Sasha Lorraine

Sasha Lorraine came into the world at 11:22pm on Saturday, August 22nd. She was born at home, and everything went perfectly, even though she beat the midwives! I delivered her on my bed, Andy was right there to rub my back through some really tough contractions, the girls were asleep in the living room, and my new friend Kim was in the other room nursing her 6 month old.

Sasha came out screaming, and has continued to show us that her lungs are in perfect working order. :-) She's nursing well, the girls are in love with their new baby sister, Andy handled everything really well considering he doesn't like birth at all, and I am so happy. Upon waking this morning to find that her sister had been born, Lauren used her most quiet voice - quite a challenge for her - to ask, "She came out?" "Does she have little baby feet? Can I see them?" "Does she have little baby hands?" Does she have ears? Oh, they are tiny." "Does she have a butt?" "Can she pick her nose with her fingers like I can pick my nose with my fingers?" "Oh. she's so tiny and cute!" Then she curled up on the corner of my pillow and watched Sasha and I sleep for a while.

It's official, we are in love.

37 weeks and counting

We are getting so excited over here. I think we've settled on a name (though I'm not ready to share yet), and her carseat should be delivered today. My birth kit arrived last week (the birth kit contains everything that the midwives need and want for delivering this baby here at home, plus an herbal bath that I couldn't resist!), and her moses basket is set up in front of my bedroom window, next to the shelf holding all her diapers and clothes. Oh, one package of disposable diapers are on their way - I use cloth, but the first few days after delivery, when we are all getting to know eachother, and all so exhausted, we'll use disposable so that I'm not over-working myself by doing too much laundry.

We're also getting kind of ansy (antsy?) over here. My body is nearing the end of it's rope, and causing me to act out of character... I'm showing the girls and Andy so much less patience then they deserve, and the girls might as well be under quarantine for my energy level is so low we spend most all day every day here, inside the house. (BTW - a mild cool front is headed our way later this week. We'll be 99' instead of 101'. I rolled my eyes when they actually called that a mild cool front - a 2 degree change can hardly be called a front.)

We've made a sign, and hung it above the moses basket, "We can't wait to meet you, Baby Name-yet-to-be-revealed!" The girls are constantly playing with their dolls and stuffed animals as their newly born babies (also, that they are new neighbors - inspiration is easy to come by!).

In all our baby preparation preoccupaton, one of our cats Oscar, has been losing weight. He and his sister, Little Bit, turned 14 on July 5th. We kind of figured, well, it's getting close to his time, we'll make sure he still always has access to food and water, but we began talking with the girls about him not being with us much longer. Well I feel like an idiot. True, his days are limited, but it took me quite awhile to figure out that he was losing weight because he couldn't eat, not because he wouldn't. Rather suddenly, the crunchy food he's been gobbling up happily for years is just too crunchy. So, once this realization hit me like a ton of bricks, he's been a much happier cat. Still skinner, but he was a 20lb cat - some wight loss is okay. We still have quite a bit of crunchy food, so I'm alternating serving canned food with the crunchy food soaked in chicken broth, and all 3 cats (Haley is the baby at 10 years old) seem happier.

Oh, and I have to say, previously I blogged about the steam mops, noting that the steamers were difficult to push along the floor. Well it turns out that using the mop on the tile is amazing - it glides really well, cleaning the floor so much faster then if I were on my hands and knees scrubbing it (something about the linoleum in the bathroom causes it to show so much resistance, I guess). So, while I still love my Eureka Envior Steamer so much more than the Shark, my criticism that the Shark commercial was incredibly misleading may have been too harsh - it's entirely possible that the Shark glides on tile the way the Eureka does. :-) And, I'm glad the linoleum is only in the bathrooms! I've yet to try the hardwood floor of my bedroom, maybe later today.

I stumbled upon this poem today, and while I plan on keeping it in mind those first few weeks postpartum, I think it's important to remind myself that 3 1/2 year olds don't keep, and nor do 7 year olds. Maybe cleaning my bedroom floor can wait, after all!

"Song for a Fifth Child."

Mother, oh Mother,

come shake out your cloth,

empty the dustpan,

poison the moth,

hang out the washing

and butter the bread,

sew on a button

and make up a bed.

Where is the mother whose house

is so shocking?

She's up in the nursery,

blissfully rocking.

Oh, I've grown shiftless as Little

Boy Blue (lullaby, rockaby, lullaby loo).

Dishes are waiting and bills are past due

(pat-a-cake, darling, and peek, peekaboo).

The shopping's not done

and there's nothing for stew

and out in the yard there's a hullabaloo

but I'm playing Kanga and this is my Roo.

Look! Aren't her eyes the most wonderful hue?

(lullaby, rockaby, lullaby loo).

The cleaning and scrubbing

will wait till tomorrow,

for children grow up,

as I've learned to my sorrow.

So quiet down, cobwebs.

Dust go to sleep.

I'm rocking my baby and babies don't keep.

~Ruth Hulburt Hamilton~

For April. :-)

Since you asked..... at 35 weeksAnd, the baby's corner - I LOVE her moses basket. :-)
And, last week we went to Austin - here's the Capitol - definitely built to impress (or intimidate!) visitors. We did not go inside, but we picnicked on the huge lawn, and fed the friendly birds and squirrels. Oh, ands some of us did a great deal of running and a little screeching, too.

I haven't fallen off the face of the earth.....

I'm still here. Still battling my morning sickness. The zophran worked wonderfully for exactly two days, and then the side effects of tiredness and weakness were too much for me to handle, and so I sometimes take the zophran, sometimes don't, and go back and forth between feeling just barely okay and just barely alive. I'm about a week away from the end of my first trimester, and I'm hopeful that I'll be better soon!

The baby bunnies are still here. One (I hope two!) will go to his new home this weekend. I need to take more pictures. Mama gets fixed tomorrow, and the babies get sexed tomorrow, so we'll know what we're dealing with. And my online research said that typically the cost of fixing a rabbit is $50 to $75. So I was thinking, okay, not bad. But our vet, no, she charges $110 for a male, $125 for a female!!! I did not think it would be that much more then the typical.

Lauren turned 3 yesterday, and woke up with a fever, so her party that should've happend has been post-poned until next weekend. Which is fine with me - more time to think about her cake. :-) Also, more time for her to change her mind as to what she wants, but hey, that's okay with me. I try to decorate with mostly just frosting, anyway, so she could change her mind as I'm frosting it and (so long as I can kinda create what she's requesting) it's not too big of a deal.

Every once in awhile I come across an adorable project that I want to try someday. Now, whether I do actually try it or just imagine making it, well umm, there are lots of projects done in my head, let me tell you! And a handful of half-started bits here and there in real life. This is one that I hope I do follow through with someday - it's so cute, and the tutorial makes it seem really doable, despite the picture. Seriously, I saw the picture and said, "Crap. There's no way I could do that." Then I read the instructions, and I could do it, if I sat down and did it. So check out this peek-a-boo lampshade, and tell me it's not so cute and maybe, just maybe, a little doable! :-)

There's a chain restaurant up here, Egg Harbor Cafe. They are only open for breakfast and lunch. And they are BUSY. We got a gift card to go there for Christmas, so we took Lauren's Godmother Paula out Saturday morning. Mmmm. My food was amazing. For one simple reason. They have green chili. Seriously. I was a bit nervous, but decided to try their potato and egg skillet, topped with ham, cheese and green chilies. It was amazing. I was in heaven. The chili was mild, but had such great flavor. I could go there everyday. And, breakfast for 5 was about $36 - not bad, I thought.

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This just in....

"Mommy, when I grow up I be Dora. D-d-d-d-d-dora. Dora Dora eenie meenie Dora."

But earlier this morning, she had plans to be The Little Red Hen when she grows up, and also maybe a gumball. We've also talked about being a pancake or ice cream cone or pizza. Umm, we really like food in this house. :-)

~~~~~~~~

Did you know that I can kick Andy's butt in Wii golf, even when I'm lounging on the loveseat? Even when Aubrey wants to try so I let her finish my turn and she hits it 20-some yards right into the hole? Aubrey beamed. I laughed. Andy cussed. And the Wii sat quiet the rest of the day.

And, my last little rambling for now.... every morning, and I mean every monring that we take Aubrey to school, I end up yelling at Lauren to get her shoes and coat on. WIthout fail. I hate it, but I don't know what else to do after I've asked her 6 times nicely to please get ready so Aubrey isn't late. Anyway, so unfortunately yelling happens here. This morning my neighbor called to see if she could take Aubrey to school since Lauren and I both are icky right now. So wouldn't you know it, Lauren comes around the corner with her shoes and coat on. I think tomorrow I will try to just say "Okay, let's get ready." and see how far that takes me, because it was so nice to not yell this morning.

Some random ramblings.....

First, the zophran I've been prescribed for my morning sickness is not working as well as I would like. When it works the best, I feel 80% like myself. When it doesn't work well I feel 40% like myself. Still near-constant nausea, still puking just about every day. I've left a message with my midwife to see if there's anything else I should be doing, or if messing with my dosage is a possibility. And I feel like a wimp even sharing that I'm having such a hard time - I know many moms have morning sickness worse than this. But I need help, and am hoping there's more help out there!

And, Andy's been offered a job in Texas. Officially, now. We're still waiting on the start date, but hopefully sometime in April. Texas is not my final destination, but we'll be a 10 hour drive from family, as opposed to the current 25 hour drive. And, this job, once he's got everything established and running smoothly, he can work remotely from anywhere. We anticipate that we could move to New Mexico 2 years after we move to Texas. Also, these Wisconsin winters are kicking our butts. Our utility bills for December - just under $500. No joke. (I know we'll have heating/cooling costs wherever we go, I'm just sharing our utility costs with you so you can imagine how freakin' cold it's been.)

Also, every once in awhile I come across an article about immigration that just gets to me. And my feelings on immigration (specifically illegal immigration) are extreme. At least I think they are, because I rarely read anything that similar to the way I think. And that's okay. But I am ready to share my thoughts. And I'm feeling sarcastic. Don't feel like you need to read any farther, unless you really want to. Oh, and if loads of comment appear, I will be liberal in my removal of them (not that I'll remove them because I don't agree with them, but if I don't know you and/or you are being disrespectful of my opinion on my blog, out you go!).

Yesterday I read this article from NPR. (Please note that I'm kinda an environmentalist.) The Nature Conservancy has a preserve along the Rio Grande - 1000 acres of jungle. Congress and Border Patrol want to erect an 18' tall concrete and steel fence through the preserve (though apparently not 'forestland'). Construction alone would disrupt this forest and it's imperiled inhabitants so much. Also, imagine how this beautiful piece of land will look with an 18' wall running alongside it. But apparently it will be a permeable wall and allow for wildlife to pass through the barrier.

Please, someone, tell me how the ocelot and jaguarundi will pass through this permeable wall designed to keep humans out. Will the animals be given key cards they swipe at doggie doors? Will the animals be trained to go to the gate and wait in line? Secret password? Pawprint identification?

Also, I have to wonder (and here's my extremism showing through) if someone is so incredibly desperate to flee their homeland that they hike through a jungle inhabited with ocelots, jaguarundi and other rare, threatened or endangered species, why do we have to turn them away? Are their needs less worthy than ours? Are they somehow less deserving of what we consider to be basic needs?

Oh, that's right, it can be argued that they are taking our jobs. Except that the jobs I see 'illegals' (and I hate that term!) doing are often the jobs I see most Americans refusing to do. Low paying manual labor. What? Oh, an American would happily do that job, except they get looked over because an 'illegal' will do it under the table for half the pay? Yes, that's a problem, and it makes me angry. Angry that an employer would devalue any human so much as to offer so little pay. Am I angry at the 'illegal' trying to feed his family? Not one bit. But anyway, isn't that the society we've created? Look at bids to do big construction projects - how often is the offer to to the exact same job for twice the pay the one chosen? If I can get a gallon of milk for $1.50, you can bet I'm doing it. Why spend $3.00 when I can get it for half as much? Right or wrong, this is the system we are part of.

And they are burdening our healthcare and welfare system. Isn't that another argument? People need to eat. People get sick. When they work for so little pay that they can't afford groceries or basic healthcare, it's sad. Citizen or 'illegal,' it's sad. It's true our government wastes an awful lot of money, but I cannot be convinced that giving 'illegals' food stamps and check-ups is a waste of that money.

People are people. Period. And if living with your 10 closest family members in a one bedroom singlewide, scrubbing toilets in the middle of the night and making strangers' beds in the morning is a better life than the one you left in Mexico (or wherever else you fled from), please, come on over! My God taught me to love my neighbor. Though he wasn't especially specific on what he meant by neighbor, I'll take it to mean fellow mankind, and I'll make you dinner.

update

I added a fun little ticker to my blog - see it?

We are very excited. Aubrey is, by far, the most excited. Lauren really doesn't care. Yet.

Andy has begun the vehicle search. Ug. I hate when he does this. Though this time it is necessary, I still find myself not at all motivated to look at car after car after truck after van after car after van after truck. And this is just online. If we were looking in person, I would probably just agree to the first one he liked and be done with it.

I'm due late August, and have always delivered early, so we'll be surprised if this baby is anything other than an August baby. 5 relatives with birthdays in August, as well as a handful of friends. Aubrey was born on her godmother Shana's birthday, and Lauren born on my Grandma Marg's birthday - will it happen again? I hope so.